Empathetic assertiveness: piloting tough negotiations 

Even seasoned negotiators can hesitate when addressing sensitive issues in difficult situations. Take the following simulation exercise: participants were tasked with confronting a military commander about serious allegations of sexual violence committed by soldiers under his command at a displaced persons’ site. Despite the gravity of the situation, the negotiator – fearing that a direct confrontation could jeopardize humanitarian access for critical services like food deliveries – softened the message, saying something along the lines of: “Commander, I just want to raise a small issue about a few violations that we heard about.”

In doing so, they unintentionally diminished the severity of the crimes, jeopardizing not only justice for the victims but also undermining their credibility during the negotiation. The military commander likely interpreted the message as referencing unconfirmed rumors of misconduct, rather than serious, substantiated allegations. As a…