Social scientists define catering as consciously or unconsciously adapting one’s approach to impression management. In other words, it means attenuating your behavior to what you think will please other people to create a favorable impression. It could also be understood as the opposite behavioral approach to acting authentically (i.e., in accordance with your own behavioral tendencies).
By catering to someone, you’re essentially focusing on them, which usually makes them like you more.
It often involves adapting yourself to another person’s preferences (possibly using flattery), which can increase affinity and attraction.
Adapting your actions or words to what you believe are the other person’s preferences can help create a ‘connection,’ which could be useful in terms of leadership.
Catering to other people’s expectations often makes you feel uncomfortable and stressed, and therefore less likely to perform well.
It essentially requires you to guess what the other person wants from you – and you might not always guess correctly.
Not being true to your own tendencies can make you feel you have compromised your integrity; feelings that can spill over and affect performance.
Being seen as a ‘caterer’ means you are likely to be perceived less positively than someone who acts more consistently with their true self, which has damaging implications for your leadership.
Presenting your best, most authentic self is generally preferable to positioning what you say and how you act because of others’ expectations. So, next time you have a critical presentation or an interaction, think about how you can present this best self, given the needs of your audience, without compromising who you really are and want to be.
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